LESS SOCIAL MEDIA, MORE READING
Let’s be real here, the only thing we read nowadays are social media captions. I’m lying, we don’t even read the captions anymore. We double tap as fast as we blink because we are more drawn by the stories told through pictures: the infamous supermarket shot, the 1001 shades of plaid, lives so well Vsco-Filtered that you start mimicking them til you find the perfect combo that makes you feel that you too, are cool. Last year was my most active year on social media, I tried harder. I became obsessively connected. Night and day. On the other hand, my personal life was drowning Titanic-style. You know the drill, numbers defining your worth is never a good idea. That applies to everything: salaries, followers, number of designer bags, number of lovers, phone or numbers in your agenda. At the end of last year I’d had enough, it was time to revaluate my priorities and reconnect with things that used to make me happy. Reading is one of them. There are plenty of tiny moments in our day in which we are simply Social media absorbed, think lunch breaks, subway trips, the first cup of coffee in the morning, the last hour before bed. Ever since, I traded social media for books, many things changed. The words flow faster when I write, I favour knowledge over social anxiety, my creativity is no longer influenced by others and I finally start/end the day in a more positive headspace.
MAKING MORE EFFORTS TO KEEP IN TOUCH
I am not going to lie. I am skeptical as fuck when it comes to people. I used to be so trusting, always in need to be surrounded and say things like “my people are part of who I am”. You know it well if you have been here for a while. Shit happens though, shit happens and parts of you start to fade. You realize that perhaps it was too much responsibility to give parts of who you are to someone else, that you maybe shouldn’t feel so passional when it comes to relationships. I eventually asked myself “What’s the point if you end up being hurt?” but I then realized that I have people in my life who don’t deserve to suffer the aftermath that faded relationships left behind. If some relationships fade, others grow stronger but you need to show up. That perhaps is the biggest lesson of 2017 for me. I ceased to show up, some bonds suffered from it and it just felt wrong. So, I kicked myself to be back to the person they deserve to call a friend. I update. I facetime. I send voice notes with my shaky voice when things go wrong. I tell my mom I love her every day. And this time around it feels good, not to say that they are part of me but to know they are. If tomorrow we fade, it won’t change yesterday and today. It won’t change that today, I am being the best me for them.
SPEAKING MY REAL MIND
There is honestly nothing more liberating than openly being Neguine. To go wild-sarcastic on twitter, to write posts that truly resonate with what I feel even if somedays it is a prose that only I can understand, to refuse to be a people-pleaser, to unapologetically be complicated, to follow my own definition of what a woman should be. I am so many things, so so many that I wonder how I ever limited myself at “I wear cute clothes and own cute bags”. Maybe for growth, maybe for approval. I am sure a lot of you can relate, we sometimes lose track of who we are because there is simply too much at stake. Relationships, jobs, online engagement. We hide, silence our real opinions, blend in so we can be more accepted. But Some things are not worth sacrificing. Losing who you are and your toughts for the sake of others is not worth sacrificing. So my advice here is: say whatever the fuck you want. Just say the truth, don’t spend time pleasing others or avoiding conflict. Don’t be afraid of what she/he will think. Don’t pretend to be a fucking princess if you are a villain, and the other way around. Experience has taught me that’s the way to keep the wrong people around and to let others really fooling around with you. I wish I had learned that quicker, I wish I had said “I love you” when it still mattered and “Fuck off” when the damage was too much for me to handle. For now, it’s how I am living my life and I am so grateful to realize that if you are deadly honest with others, people are honest with you too.
JOURNALLING & TRACKING MY HABITS
I have already talked about my bullet journalling discovery in my January happy things post. March officially marks my third month experimenting and I honestly can’t live without it. Bullet journalling is the perfect way to get your shit together if your mind is too chaotic for traditional planners. It allows you to organize your mess on your own terms, gives you the freedom to choose what you want to immortalize, to prioritize certain things in your life. I use mine for literally everything in my life. Not only to plan but also to keep track of my habits and moods, as well as remembering the little things that made me happy at a certain moment. Three months in and my mind is more creative, my mood more positive and my life more organized.
GRATITUDE > ANGER
This one has been a tough one for me because when I get mad, I get mad. It’s genetic peeps, I can’t help it if soap opera drama runs in the family. However, being angry usually goes together with being sad for me. In serious conflict, I get terrified instantly. My mind calculates the worst case scenario and I tell myself that I better leave before I get left. It is dumb, it is scary and the aftermath isn’t fun. So I kicked my ass to grow up, to let go of grudges, to forgive without them knowing, to acknowledge that acting out of fear makes me just as guilty, to still love the ones that shape my past, to feel grateful that what hurt, hurts today in a good way. Being less angry gives me more space to evolve. It gives me more space to self-reflect, to adopt a new perspective and most importantly to always go for the best case scenario.
Neg! You are so right as always!
I can’t remember the last time I read a book! How unbelievable is that! Need to get back in the game soon.
I have anger management issues as well lol. A temper I have grown able to control most of the time..
Thank you for being you!
Lots of love
Britta
Author
You need to!!! Start with easy reads and you will get into it gradually, that’s what i did! ahahahah I can relate so much to that, anger clouds our judgment. At least mine, a lot. Thank YOU for being you!! Love you always.
I love this. For whatever reason, I have come to some of these same conclusions- less social media, more reading, more writing, more connections with people that matter- more picking up my head from my screen and LIVING!! I am so proud of you sweet beautiful girl!!
Author
I know right? It must be all the crazyness surrounding social media and instagram lately. The only conversations regard blogging and it gets so tiring. It’s impressive we always are on the same page khosghele! So proud we have this connection! Love ya alwaysss <3
Yeah girl!! I definitely need to read more but I’ve been working on being more honest and direct and damn it feels good. It’s ridiculous how our mind can take us to extreme places for the littlest things. And yes to keeping in touch with loved ones. No one’s going to not like an I love you/I miss you text.
xx
Gratitude is something I’m fully trying to master this year, hopefully forever. I’m the same; worst case scenario is where my mind wants to go and build a damn house. It’s tiring me the f out at the moment, even if it’s just one day a week, or an hour – it takes it’s toll all the steaming negativity I let out onto myself. Everything we feed our minds, shifting our perspectives has more power than an infected cut ever could have. So I’m completely with you on that honey. xxxx