It’s been written in the stars that I will always be the kind of person that will go through the rockiest shadiest darkest path possible. I am the hustler that never settles but that fails at least a thousand times on the way, the kid who continuously falls and stands up two seconds later to continue playing. I have no idea where that determination and strength comes from but that’s the way I function, my body never seems to say “that’s enough Neguine, we are done”. Except for the last two weeks where I have felt bruised as fuck and my determination seems to have left me for a hot minute. Uncertainty has been the big villain of my life lately and it has made me mess up in all ways and inevitably led me to land on the “Game Over, Play again” screen. Tears&Fears mixed together, I asked myself the same question I ask when something goes wrong in my life: well fuck, I tell my audience to believe in their dreams but so far, all it has felt like is failure. How do you traduce failure in an Instagram feed where all colours that pop out are pink? How to romanticize it properly because it seems like no other blogger openly talk about it? How to express it without sounding like a broken Taylor Swift record to people? Well to me, I failed. I tried to keep it cool, I tried to handle everything all at once until it all just slipped off my hands. I let that one big love go (again), I didn’t give 100% of myself in a situation where I needed to, I let stress take the best out of me but mostly, I put myself down. If I have reached one of my lowest scores in the last two years, I also realized that failing is an essential part of my story: My biggest fails are what led me to my biggest wins.
6 Quotes that make me feel better about failure
“Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo”
” We need to accept that we won’t always make the right decisions, that we’ll screw up royally sometimes – understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success. “
“Success is not built on success. It is built on failure. It’s build on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.”
“Never let success get to your head, never let failure get to heart”
” If you are not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you are not doing anything very innovative” – Woody Allen
” Rock Bottom became the foundation on which I rebuilt my life.” – J.K.Rowlings
“Magic happens when you do not give up, even though you want to. The universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart.”
So I’m here today to say that newsflash, yes you are going to fail, yes you are going to let go people when you don’t want to, yes you are going to have days where you feel like a total loser but guess what, this is by no means the end of your story. Dreaming big goes together with encountering storms on the road because there is absolutely no luck in going after what you want. Failing is nothing to be ashamed of, it is something to feel empowered about, something to use to rewrite your story accordingly to what you really want to be. After all this is life and just like anyone else, my game crashes way more times that I would ever openly admit but for the first time, I won’t let all the things that happened make me feel like I need to disappear until all is well and my life is Insta-worthy again. Instead, I will admit: I failed and felt like a loser but that’s okay because I kicked my own ass to hit the “play again” button. I decided to embrace the storm and dance under it knowing entirely that it is just a question of time until I get to the next level of my story.
WHAT I’M WEARING TODAY: H&M tee and skirt // MANGO sandals //GUCCI bag
Pictures by Mikayla Kuehn