Someone once told me “if people aren’t hating you, you are doing something wrong”. I remember being so shocked because hate and envy never were feelings I wanted to cause to anybody. I justified his words to his excessive ambition and his social awkwardness, and continued smiling at anyone and anything on my way. Until now. Now that I am doing something that I love, something that fills me, something that makes me happy; I realize that he was right all along. The last weeks have been a real pain in my ass. Relax, I am not depressed, sad, pissed or anything. I am just fucking annoyed as hell. Annoyed at some people but mostly annoyed at myself as I have allowed them to have a power on anything Persian Brunette related. I knew when I started blogging that it wasn’t going to be easy, I knew that the internet was home to so much hate and criticism, I knew that not everybody was going to like me and that’s okay, that’s part of life, you can’t expect to be everyone’s cup of tea. Not only I knew all of it but I was so prepared for it, blogging made me tougher skinned than ever. What I wasn’t prepared for, are so called friends who spent the last year and a half praising my work while bringing it down on my back. It made me furious. Not because of what they said, not because they had criticism to bring on the table but because double-faced shit is just something I decided to exclude from my life a while ago. Some said that my content is meaningless while others said it’s repetitive. Part of me immediately assumed they were right and started being self-conscious about every single thing published on my social handles while this other part of me went on fire. Because I know how much I work to pour my heart out every week, I know that my content connects with at least a few of you but most importantly I know that my content connects with me. I didn’t start blogging because I desperately needed attention (some of my friends are still discovering that it is something I do), I didn’t start blogging because I wanted to become some guru, I didn’t start blogging for the likes or follows. I honestly didn’t expect anything out of it. I started blogging because I was absolutely heartbroken, because I needed something to make me feel alive. Persian Brunette is a place where I release, where I am transparent, where I am my true self. You will obviously not see it all but that’s the closer you’ll get. It was my platform, my place, my home. And it’s not okay to let fake people influence my content creation while my intuition clearly tells me to follow my path, it’s not okay to allow them to make me feel like I’m not at home anymore. Obviously, I started being rude. You can call me a bitch or a mean girl or whatever you want but the truth is, I only give kindness to those that deserve it. I won’t spend time giving fake smiles and saying things that I don’t mean to people I don’t like. Experience has taught me that if you do things for social approval or social praise: you are basically screwed. I write on here for me. Not for fame, not for approval. Seeing that it resonates with some of you makes me proud, it makes me happy, it makes me endlessly grateful and empowered to know that I can empower people but it doesn’t change how I feel about myself. More likes and follows won’t stop me from being the person I am as much as less likes and follow won’t make me unhappy to the point where I will ever stop writing. So whatever, haters gonna hate, that’s just the way it is. Don’t ever let them bring you down. Do what you love but most importantly, do it for you. Dance like no one is watching, be your own person and be proud that you are probably one of the very few who are brave enough to do so.
TODAY I’M WEARING: Zara Jacket // Zara Pants // Zara Shoes // Gucci bag
All pictures by Darius Boustantchi