Renaissance

For the first time in months, I’m not going to embellish any of the words that are going to follow.

Because you know by now that the during the last months I have been going round and round, and personally it was starting to feel completely inefficient and emotionally tiring. It was finally time to start feeling that I had to do something about it instead of waiting for my reality to get fixed magically. We already had that conversation, fairytales don’t exist in real life guys (Solly Solly for the spoilers).

So Let’s get completely hypothetical, you know when you talk about some friend because you are too ashamed to admit it’s you.

Turns out I have this friend and if I had to tell you the truth about her, I would tell you that she has been through the sea of thousand tears. Tears of incomprehension of her new reality, tears of frustration by her lack of creativity and unwillingness of her words to be tied together, tears of incompetence face to the fact that she had completely lost herself. I know what you are thinking because I have thought the same during months: UGH GIRL YOU ARE SO ANNOYING, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ALREADY. And if we are telling truths then I will tell you one thing you have to know about her: she can’t handle the lies, she can’t handle fake.

It drives her completely craycray. The more she grows up, the less tolerant she becomes to fake bullshitters and having to fake anything to please anyone, and honestly neither should you.  If there is there is both a good and bad thing about life: It only lasts two minutes and as sad as it might sound, it is a reality she has just taken conscience of a few days ago. It is something we are being repeated so many times, that we read over and over again in any possible forms and yet her head has chosen to stay focused on confusion: between poems and essays, between decisions that may look complicated but are in reality so simple, between the right thing to do and the illusion of greatness. She got stuck in a reality where words didn’t mean shit anymore, where the beauty of outfits became her curse, where her reflection in the mirror got completely distorted by the way she was feeling forgetting that it didn’t define her as a person at any moment. The other thing about her is that she is a perfectionist, to the point where she ends up being annoyingly impatient in front of her lack of achievements. She can’t take the fact that there are some moments in your life where you’ll have to take one step forward to go three steps backwards to learn how to walk in the right direction. Sometimes you might be lucky to be given a GPS, other times you’ll be completely blind and will have to take a guess. And that, she terribly sucked at.

All of this has been going on and on and while she might call it complete mess, others call it growth.

So here I am, after months of saying hellos and goodbyes with a worse intermittence than a bad Wi-Fi connection. I have been quite busy trying to be there for my friend, we all know we don’t want our friends to cry (and if you like them to cry, I think it’s time for you to reconsider yourself as a person). However, I woke up with a new drive, new ideas, new content, new writing, new everything that I can’t wait to share with you (1 to 3 times a week depending on how my WiFi decides to start working). Determined to finally create something beautiful out of everything that has happened, everything that makes me the person I am. To rebuild PersianBrunette and go back to why I started. For that friend of mine, so she can finally be proud of the reflection she sees in the mirror because when it comes to me, I couldn’t be prouder of her.

And sometimes, all this non-ending bullshit will happen to you too and it’s perfectly okay, as long as you are willing to kick your friend’s ass when the right moment comes. Only you decide the rules of your reality and even if cloudy days might be ahead of you, summer is always around the corner. Nothing lasts eternally but the way you choose to react will be part of you forever.

Another thing you might have noticed about my friend is she loves cursing, that’s how raw she is. Oh well, You can’t have the good without the bad huh?

Lots of love always,

Neguine

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PB-min

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WHAT I’M WEARING: ZARA coat // ZARA high-waisted skinnies // H&M sweater // CASTAÑER boots // BALENCIAGA work bag


 

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6 Comments

  1. April 26, 2016 / 2:35 pm

    I am so proud of you sis. I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished. Never stop believing in yourself!!
    You are truly one of the most amazing ladies out here. love u. xo

    http://the-soulofapoet.com/

    • neguineb
      May 1, 2016 / 11:57 pm

      I cna say the same about you my Zana… I feel like since we have met each other, we both have grown out of our shells. I love reading your writing, you already know that I feel related to you so many times and I love the connection we have!! Love you back my love!!!!

  2. May 1, 2016 / 7:52 pm

    Aww Neguine, I wish I could give you a huge hug right now! You are smart, beautiful, and have a great sense of style – don’t ever forget that. I always look forward to seeing your posts and photos xx

    • neguineb
      May 1, 2016 / 11:58 pm

      AWEEE! HUG PARTY!!! I can say the same about you my love and I don’t even knoe you in real life! Thank you so much for your kind words, for reading, for being here. It means everything, it looks so dumb but the instafamily actually is part of my life and you guys have had such a great impact on the person I am!! Lots of love to you sweetheart!

  3. May 28, 2016 / 6:06 am

    I love this coat, very beautiful and fashion

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