They say clothes are a way to express who you are without having to speak. If I go back to all my fashion experiments, my clothes would have told you I am a tomboy, then a barbie, then a bitch, then a badass, then a hippie and the list goes on and on because I am not even including my early years of life where I spent everyday dressed up as Pocahontas.
Somehow the list above can just prove you that my clothes proved that I was trying to embody too many personalities to find mine. I shamelessly copied every single person I admired: The girls at school, the fans of the group I adored, the girls on disney channel, the bloggers I followed religiously. I didn’t have that spark that you sometimes see in people, a Je ne sais quoi that we all somehow try to emulate until we find our own. Clearly, clothes never were my superpower, they were more of an armor. A thick layer on my body to hide each curve, each feminine asset, each imperfection and each bump on my skin.
Because so many barriers stopped me from owning my own clothes, they didn’t mean anything to me because I didn’t have anything to say about myself. I was a girl with so many layers on, so many thoughts & feelings buried under an XXL shirt from my grandpa’s closet. But a few months ago, I gained a strength I was not even conscious I had. I feel like I have slowly been unveiling parts of myself to the world: one after another. It started with pictures and followed with the words. Somehow taking off all those layers made me want to go further. Write more and maybe dress more the way I write.
It feels like I have found myself involved in this blogging process by mistake, but it was the one of the most beautiful mistake I have ever made as it made me not only own the clothes I wear but also the body and mind that go under it. I’m like a Pokemon, I fight my battles everyday to evolve into a completely different version of myself. A version that still holds the original essence but so much more power to spread her energy through her clothes. So don’t be surprised if as all the layers fall on the floor, I decide to enter in combat and trade my signature sneaker for a badass yet classic pump.
Lots of love always,
TODAY I’M WEARING: ZARA pants // Zara top // ZARA jacket // Mango shoes // CHLOÉ DREW bag
All pictures by Darius Boustantchi