December has been chaotic. To be honest, I haven’t even realized it was Christmas and that the year is about to end.
Audrey and I have been walking through the city shooting look after look for Frassy. With a lot of sparkle, lot of bliss, lot of fur, lot of velvet, lot of tulle and actually a lot of bittersweet emotions attached to all these costumes. Every time Audrey walked out of her house with a different outfit, It is like she embodied a different character and as usual, well she does it perfectly. I love to think that she is kind of a chameleon with the strongest soul: dressing someone else’s uniform and enlightening it with her own personal light.
Normally, I would just look at her outfit and say something sarcastic to make her smile. But when she walked out like Carrie Bradshaw, I instantly asked her if I could shoot it as well. What do you want me to say? You know all of us secretly want to believe we have a bit of Carrie under our skin! I mean the love story, the dream job, the dream house, the dream squad, New york and holy moly. Do I even need to talk about the closet? Plus, it feels like Carrie always expresses herself despite the fact she is just unable to put her emotions into words. She always steps out with the craziest outfit with confidence and pride: no matter how crazy or ridiculous it is. She is careless.
I like to think that sometimes pulling out a Carrie somehow connects me to the girl I was a few years ago when Christmas meant dressing up with feathers, tulle and Sparkle. I would count the days with growing excitement, decorate everything in the most festive way and be insanely depressed when the magic of Christmas was gone. And I don’t know what is onto me, maybe it is growing up or like people in Spain would say “maybe it is the economic crisis”! But Christmas doesn’t have the same meaning, the spirit traduced in material symbols drives me crazy in a negative way and social media makes it worse. And I am the first culprit for that, I have posted God knows how many Christmas decorations pictures on IG.
So the days have passed by, I have been busy, I have done all these points in the to-do list you never want to do ( YES. FINALLY WENT TO THE DENTIST) and I have realized what truly used to make Christmas magical, what is truly important. I know this is something that is everywhere ” Christmas is to be reunited, have a good and lovely time with your family and your loved ones”.
I truly felt this genuinely for the first time in years because I stopped caring about all the insignificant bullshit around christmas. I didn’t care about decorating, buying presents or even receiving them. On the other hand, I have connected more intensively with all these little things that make me happy: Worked out more intensively, visited my grandma more often to show her how to use Skype (Omg… don’t even let me start here), got rid of all the things that are useless or have hurt me in the past, skyped my baby bro and realized that I would have nothing for Christmas but spend it with him, watched disney movies with my best friend and do our annual “Niggs resolution list”. And to me, that is what Christmas is all about: Stopping a while in the middle of all the madness it involves and do a balance of our lives. Making the smallest moments count instead of emphasizing the act of reunion because I sure have had a few catastrophic Christmases in my life as well as wonderful ones! But then again: don’t listen to anything I say at all because your Christmas should only be how you appreciate it and it should be about bringing up the smile that the heart sometimes don’t feel. So I hope you ate a lot, received a ton of wonderful presents and cherished each one of the people you love. For me well, it was all calm and busy at the same time.
Maybe it is Growing up, Maybe it is me being less of a Carrie and more of a Neguine. I don’t know about you but I choose ripped jeans over tutu, everytime.
Lots of love always,